Hi friends! Wow. I have epically failed at the #1 rule of blogging: staying consistent. My life since my last blog post (at the end of March!) has been a crazy whirlwind of changes. I am a person who thrives on routine, and my life has been consistently disrupted by various events since April, resulting in me not living the healthy life I want to live. (Honestly, what even is a vegetable or 8 hours of sleep?)
To speak vulnerably, I've recently been forced to confront a lot of things about myself that I've always known deep down are true, but not been comfortable with acknowledging. Self love is such a 'trend' right now, and I've always written it off as just that: a frivolous, surface level trend. A "treat yo' self" movement. But in truth, it's much more than that. It's a mindset. It's actively not speaking to yourself in a negative way, and instead speaking to yourself the way you would to those you love. Why don't we give ourselves the same courtesy that we give to others? You wouldn't want to walk around being a disrespectful jerk to everyone you meet, but sometimes that's the way we treat ourselves. As lesser than. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but I have a feeling I'm not.
To be honest, this is a tough pill for me to swallow. Advice that is hard to take and apply to my life moving forward. I do a lot of things that I judge myself harshly for (that I truly wouldn't judge anyone else for doing) and find it difficult to find balance and peace in my life. I'm learning that I base many decisions on my FEELINGS in the moment and not true FACTS. And this often causes a cycle of negative thoughts and reactions out of me that then result in negative self-speak which projects onto others.
So where am I at in my life right now? I am now living a 10 minute walk from the beach. The weather is amazing. I have an amazing, angel of a boyfriend. I'm getting back into fitness classes and pushing my body every time I work out. I'm trying really hard to make the type of food choices that will keep me healthy in body and mind. I'm making time for the activities that used to bring me joy. I'm working every day on making positive changes, starting with my mindset. And I'm trying to talk often to God and cast my anxieties on Him, because He cares for me. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.
I hope that you all have been living your best lives, and doing your best every day to be moving forward toward your goals, whatever they may be!
♡, tanna
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